Marketing? Who Needs It?

It’s a no brainer that marketing is the least important department in the C-suite. They’re like the appendix or the wisdom teeth of the body - useless, take up too much space, and cost a fortune to maintain or remove. With their booze and their boisterous personalities, it’s no use funding a department that makes strategic decisions solely based on fluffy, unsubstantial metrics.

 Is marketing even worth it compared to the other departments the C-suite could invest in?

Unfortunately, Finance, IT, and other departments that make up the core of companies have to pick up marketing’s slack, sacrificing a portion of their budget for nonsense, “gut-feeling” campaigns. Oh brother, another heartfelt gum commercial that signifies bringing people together?

What if the marketing department disappeared? Imagine the possibilities: extra budget to fund company-wide retreats, newfound conference room availability, the abundance of donuts on #NationalDonutDay?? There is no end!

If you’re still on the fence and find “value” in marketing, below is just the beginning of what is an endless list of unforgivable and unnecessary burdens marketing bestows on companies.

And, you can trust us...we’ve been in the marketing business a long time….we have seen the horrors.

How is marketing ruining your business?

  1. Marketing helps companies understand their target market.

    Every single person on this planet will buy your product without any qualms or reservations. If a company’s services suit one person, it will suit all people, right? Marketing just gets in the way by collecting consumer data, detailing buyer personas, and mapping out consumer journeys. If anything, marketers’ willingness to personalize consumer experiences to increase brand loyalty and sales is offensive and quite nosey. Sure, receiving a targeted ad for the exact thing a consumer searched for the day before saves the consumer time and headaches, but finance can attract the same amount of people with little to no effort!

  2. Marketing spreads the word.

    If a product is good, people will know about it for sure (you’ve heard that products can often “sell themselves”) - even if it takes a significant amount of time! For instance, it took Columbus 10 weeks to sail back to Spain to share the good news of the New World! A few months to hear about an upcoming product will surely keep consumers excitedly on their toes - no way will they get swept up by another competitor. There is no need for social media campaigns - these sites merely give consumers direct and quick access to brands (not to mention the sites are completely free to the brand).

    Advertisements merely for the sake of increasing awareness or engagement take away from the exclusivity of the brand. Isn’t that what companies want - a small, niche group of followers that never grows?

  3. Marketing influences product development.  

    Consumers are wishy washy and unpredictable. It’s not like analytics helps marketers study and evaluate the behavior of consumers in order to tailor products to fit/meet their needs. Someone call Doc and Marty, because that’s some real future talk! The thing about marketers is that they not only handle social media, content creation, and creative, but every action is driven by data analytics. They CAN predict the wishy washiness of the consumer AND plan products, campaigns, and strategy around that information.

  4. Marketing grows a following.

If people aren’t a fan from the beginning, then it may be a lost cause. Investing in consumers over the long run by developing healthy back and forth communication through social channels and customer service is a waste of time. There is no way that showing appreciation for consumers by offering promotional incentives or engagement will create brand loyalty and a steady following that will lead to further sales. No way. At all. Ever. Period. If there is one thing we all know about consumers, it is that they hate acknowledgement, deals, and a quality consumer experience.

These are only a few reasons why marketing in unequivocally the worst. Just writing this blog about the department was an absolute waste of time…

Marketers are trying so hard to be important that they have also taken on the technical world in AR, VR, and AI - almost making them a bridge between departments like IT and finance. Marketing is just everywhere - isn’t that kind of overwhelming?

If you find, however, that your company is in desperate need of increasing brand awareness, consumer engagement, or sales….maybe that is because there is a lack of marketing. Maybe your company needs to work with qualified marketing agencies (despite marketing possibly being the worst decision for your company ever due to its ability to steal the show by boosting sales and exposure) to get ahead and stump the competition.